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How would you rate us today?
This question often pops up while I’m quietly living my life. It asks me to rate everything, from hospital services to the consumables that could put me there. Online brownies, for example (ordered for others, obviously).
Occasionally, I do the star rating and click through the questions, skipping ‘Other Comments’. More often, I sigh and have another brownie a cup of tea. Why?
I dislike this constant need to evaluate. I understand the reasons behind it. Honest reviews can produce positive change, better services, and useful quotes to advertise customer satisfaction. I get this. I’m a writer. A 5-star review will almost certainly boost my book sales. A positive comment is even better.
But, in asking people to constantly make judgements, are we helping shape a society which only values measurable outcomes, insisting that anything less than perfect is inexcusable? Services are provided by human beings who, while quirky and lovable, are essentially flawed. Do not judge… For in the same way that you judge others, you will be judged (Matthew 7:1–2).
Deep down, we know this: we make judgements as imperfect people. This makes us anxious. If I give a 3-star rating, it means my standards are higher. But I expect from others what I can’t give myself and one day, someone will find me out.
We strive daily to emulate the example of Jesus – loving, forgiving, generous – accepting we’ll fail and fall into the welcoming arms of God’s grace. Shame and anxiety are not features of God’s kingdom. Relief and hope are. How can we make these shine?
Next time you’re sent a survey, maybe fill in the ‘Other Comments’ section, sharing what you liked, whatever the grade. Simple actions can value the person more than the service – thank the waiter, leave a tip, chat with the labourer. You could show grace when writing a review – ‘The service was slow, but I could see you were short-staffed.’
Perhaps give people the benefit of the doubt – ‘I didn’t see a treatment plan but I understand it will be sent to me.’ And react in the opposite spirit – on an Airbnb holiday there was no whisk. Seeing one in a shop, my husband bought it to leave as a gift.
The main protagonist in my book, who is anxious and lonely, stumbles across people from her local church. When people stumble across us, is there a sense of relief, of hope?
How do we rate?
Deborah Jenkins
Deborah is a freelance writer and teacher. She blogs at stillwonderinghere.net. You can find out more about her books here.
I rate this as excellent – 5*s. It identifies the Christian approach to several human dilemmas in an interesting and accessible way.
Thank you! At the end of the day, it’s usually the little things that make the most impact, isn’t it? After all, this is the stuff our lives are made of…
Yes I agree. An excellent article that promotes grace over merit. Thank you.
Grace over merit. Yes, that’s it exactly 🙂 Thank you.
Money back please!… hahaha.. seriously- I totally agree .. and PLEASE thank your cleaners/ domestics where you work- leave them a positive feedback on a note and even a Christmas goody –
!! Yes, thanks for reminding me about that. It’s hard, unrewarding work particularly in a school or hospital (if you’re the Karin I think you are!). A small gift and a note to show appreciation is, as we all know, a Christmas gift worth having.
Great thought – spotting something that’s so ubiquitous in our experience & offering fresh wise observation on it. Top work!
Thank you! And thanks for reading and commenting 🙂
The whisk story will stay with me, reacting in the opposite spirit. I’m going to be looking out for ‘missing whisk opportunities’. Wonderful article, thank you.
I love the idea of looking for ‘missing whisk opps’! I’m going to call them that now too. Thank you for your comment 🙂
Easily understandable, realistic and honest.
Who am I to judge others!
Thank you! Yes, that’s it. Hard one to practise on a daily basis, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.
Such ‘evaluations’ sit alongside equally invasive “cookies” , disappointingly not chocolate brownies, as modern day irritants!
Questions asked for the benefit of
Thank you for the whisk image! Will whisk away needless words and transform irritation into action!
Yes, cookies (of the non-edible kind) are indeed frustrating. Ah, words into action. Yes, that’s the challenge for us all isn’t it? Thank you for your comment 🙂
Yes, BUT … Agree totally with the need to be gracious, forgiving etc. The danger is that so many people take the view, “We have to be nice to them, they are trying”. “We cannot criticise because we are not perfect.” The result is slipshod work, a ‘don’t care’ attitude, low standards.
I was interested that the late Vice Principle of Oakhill College wrote an article in their magazine entitled “Are Christians too nice?” ‘Judge not’ but one verse later is “Cast not ..” implying judging!
“Test the spirits” 1 John 4. In fact do not accept what is incorrect factually (Paul’s repeated remarks about false teaching) or practically.
So the question really becomes “How can we be loving, kind, helpful and strive for high standards (for ourselves as for individuals as well as society as a whole?” I speak as a retired Headmaster.
I see your point and I think your question is a pertinent one. I still believe, however, that the way something is said, using careful words which separate the person from the product or service, is important. It can result in motivation rather than discouragement, determination not despair. I think criticism – an expression of disapproval on the basis of perceived faults and mistakes, often linked to a person or persons – is different to evaluation – judging the value of something. The latter seems to me to be more closely related to the product or service. As a (semi-retired) teacher, I have both observed and been observed many times and have given and received both types of judgements (criticism and evaluation). It’s hard to get it right but I genuinely believe it’s possible. But we should not, as you say, bottle out by just ‘being nice’. I think we can, if we are careful, say what we liked, what we valued and how we think the service/product could be improved, without demeaning the person/people working hard to provide it. I really appreciate your comment as it made me think this through!
I like your suggestions for positive action
Thank you! And thank you for reading 🙂
It has been my privilege to be an avid reader of LICC for over 12 years while living in Spain as well
as North America in Christian ministry. I first discovered LICC while on a ministry trip to London.
I have been an avid follower and reader. May God continue to bless and use you.
Thank you. May He bless and use you too!
Great article Deborah! We went to an Airbnb which had the potential to be amazing so instead of leaving a bad review, I gave it a good review and contacted the owner privately about a couple of crucial things. I knew they would improve it and wanted them to succeed! He really appreciated it!
I think that’s brilliant and a really good way of doing it, particularly if most things were good and there were only a couple of irritants! As you say, reviews are so crucial to people in this regard but a private note will lead to improvement without necessarily affecting take-up (hopefully!).
I am so glad God doesn’t have a rating system for us! Hallelujah that he doesn’t categorise or judge us in this way. I’m sure Jesus said something like, ‘Don’t give anyone else a 2 star rating until you’ve looked at the 2 star rating you yourself deserve.’ Also, I am often hesitate to ‘rate’ services, such as my supermarket delivery, for instance, because I don’t know what the results of that rating would be. Great article, Deborah, raising some key issues.
I love your paraphrase of what Jesus said! Yes, one does wonder how someone with an impossibly tight delivery schedule would be affected if we were to give a poor rating. The whole thing is fraught with difficulty isn’t it? Thank you for your comment 🙂
As ever, wise, witty and human.
Thank you! And thank you for reading and commenting 🙂
Your blog is such a breath of fresh air! In seeing the daily challenges we face you combine a compassionate understanding of our common frailties and offer a simple, practical way to ‘act in the spirit’.
You are very kind to read and comment. Thank you. The challenge for me is to be careful to do it as well as to write about it!
Wonderful article encouraging us to find ways to react in ‘the opposite spirit’ and to find kind and gentle ways to make a point. Thanks Deborah.
Thank you, Sharon, for reading and commenting 🙂
Very insightful thoughts – ratings and evaluations are fine for human standards, but God takes the unlovely, lowly rated things of the world and makes them excellent. Look at Paul, look at the disciples, look at Moses and David and Gideon. I am trying to remember to be more loving with a particular parcel delivery company, whom I won’t name here!
Luckily, I have no idea which delivery company you are talking about! Thank you for your comment. You make a good point about those biblical examples. Comfort for us all…
I rate this highly….!
It can be important to evaluate to the best of our ability to make sure we are not being led astray .
But sometimes when we judge others critically, it might be because we see in them the very fault that we hate in ourselves and have worked hard to overcome, perhaps with limited success. Or perhaps with success, and so why can’t they achieve it too?
I think that’s so true. Relating to the failings of others should make us more compassionate but often, for the reasons you mention, it’s the reverse. Wise words!
I loved your article so I read parts of your blog and now I have bought and read The Evenness of Things, mostly because i love Northumberland and Alnwick and was intrigued by the thought of buying a house without telling your husband! I enjoyed the book and look forward to the next one.
Oh thank you so much, Gill! You have made my day. Happy Christmas and New Year to you!